Interview with the now-defunct Kinkk.com

Kinkk.com: Why do you live where you live?

Lady Lydia: This has to be one of the most beautiful places in the country. We have a fabulous downtown scene and then a 30-minute drive in any direction takes you into some of the most spectacular boating, skiing, hiking, and biking, that exists anywhere. I also happen to love our weather. Seattle can be very gray, but I find that it makes everything look sparkly and clean. Almost like living on a movie set. I often tell traveling clients all the wonderful restaurants, tourist sites, and activities they can participate in while in town. Seattle has so much to offer that I feel I am spoiled here. Just as I should be.

When and how did you originally realise that your sexuality might be “abnormal”?

That would depend on your definition of “normal”. For this exercise, we can define “normal” as man and woman, married, in their dark bedroom, participating in intercourse (penis to vagina only) in order to procreate. I don’t remember a time when I found the above scenario interesting. I like to see what I am doing, I do not want children, I love women, and toys are great fun. I knew when I was very young that my ideas about who I was sexually differed from my friends.

When I was in pre-school I got in trouble for “playing the quiet game” with my classmates who seemed to not be playing the same game, convincing another student that swallowing small pebbles was good for their health, and forcing a boy who was much older than I, to eat mud pies. I also found myself in trouble for taking some of the other kids’ crayons because I did not think they were responsible enough to have them in their possession. Really, they tore the paper, put them in the box out of order, and did not sharpen them. Was I wrong? I think not. I always gave them an allowance of crayons that I then made them turn back in at the end of class by blackmailing them.

I discovered that dental floss was not a safe means of tying up one’s cousin after I cut her wrists open during a game of cops and robbers. Once again, was this my fault? I was grounded when she was the one who struggled after I told her “stay still or I will shoot you with my rubber-band gun.”

When I was about 9 years old, my mother caught me trying to give an enema to my best friend, who had complained of a stomachache. I had spent over an hour getting her to agree to go into the bathroom with me and then at least another hour getting her to take her pants down and bend over.

My mother came in while I was about to insert the nozzle. Needless to say, she was mad at me “harming” my friend, my friend was totally embarrassed, and I was mad that she caught me when “all I was trying to do was help.”

I also used to love to argue the opposite opinion, whether I agreed with it or not, just to watch the other person turn red and get really mad. I am glad that as I grew up I was able to find like minded individuals to play with. Now I am part of a robust kink community that still sometimes thinks I am a little weird.

What childhood experiences do you think contributed?

Possibly a number of things, but I really believe that sexuality is hardwired in our brains, that our sexuality is a mixture of genetics and some environmental influences. Fetishes often occur in the first 2-3 years of life, but sado-masochism and sexual preferences are most likely genetic. I was not abused as a child by anyone and I come from a loving, generous, and supportive family. I have no excuse for why I am like this, except my brain likes it when I hurt people.

Please describe your ideal erotic scenario.

This is possibly the most difficult question here to answer. My erotic fantasies seem to change daily. I love variety and my fantasies tend to be quite varied.

What were you like in high school?

I didn’t have much money and was a bookworm, so I suspect I was a nerd. I discovered punk rock and became “cool” and a little popular in my group, but still an outsider. I worked as a seamstress and did odd jobs to pay for my needs and to help my mother out. I studied and participated in several school activities: Debate, Model United Nations, Mayor’s Youth Council, Young Republicans, Environmental club, and Chess club, and took piano and dance lessons.

What inspired your Domme name?

First, I prefer the title “Lady” as opposed to Mistress or Goddess as I do not like to be placed into a scene without my consent. I am only Mistress to specific individuals for agreed-upon lengths of time in agreed-upon places. Lydia comes from a few sources. I have always liked the name and I like to be in good company. One of my favorite performance artists is Lydia Lunch, Lydia Estes Pinkham was one of the most successful businesswomen of the 19th century, Lydia Litvyak is one of two female flying aces,

Lydia is part of a fabulous Marx Brother’s song, and Lydia Thompson was an amazing woman who ran her own Burlesque review back in the 1870s. The region Lydia was also the site of great historical and mythological occurrences in Asia Minor. Lastly, the McLane portion is based on my Celtic heritage. The clan motto is “strength is my honor”. I it was quite appropriate.

Did you try at first to suppress your kinkiness? If so, what was that like?

I would not speak about my kinkiness to people until I knew them. However, over the years, I have found that most people don’t care one way or the other. I don’t proclaim my sexuality, but I will bring it up if the conversation goes that way, or if it might have some informational or educational importance.

Please describe your first interactions with sympathetic partners.

I seem to regularly attract like-minded individuals, so I have not had much experience with unsympathetic partners. Anyone I spend much time with will know how I interact and will be sympathetic. Life is too short to be constantly frustrated in bed.

Has your sexuality caused problems in any important relationships?

No. Except when I pinch unexpectedly for fun. Really it is the best sort of pinching. My partner is kinky too. Sometimes we don’t agree on what I should hit with at which time or on where the needle should go, but those problems are not major.

Is your being a pro-domme a medium for your anger? Is there an element of vengefulness involved?

This question made me laugh at first. I realize that as a person who is paid to cause harm that I must be angry about something, someone, or men. However, I don’t see myself as an angry person and I certainly would not want to have to work at any job where I had to be angry every day. That would be ridiculous.

I have a distinct fondness for my personal play partners and clients. I try to bring understanding, compassion, and concern (along with my sadism, fetishistic nature, and ironic glee) to all of our encounters. Being angry is a sign that someone is out of control in their emotional life and is not a part of “safe or sane” play.

I will sometimes role-play an angry person to get a scene working, but that does not mean that I am angry.

What would your clients be most surprised to find out about you?

I must have some secrets!

What surprises you about your clients?

I am not sure if anything surprises me much. Most of my clients are aware that I do not like surprises.

Do you have friendships with your clients outside the dungeon?

Yes. I am glad to have found several friends through this work.

What are your own main interests and passions away from the dungeon?

My interests and passions include animals (I have a small zoo), Opera and music in general, literature (I read 1-3 books a week), burlesque and women’s sexual history, travel, and getting to spend my precious little bits of time with family and friends.

Please tell about your pre-dominatrix work history.

I have always had other occupations while being involved in Professional Domination. When I was younger I was a seamstress. I have been a chem and micro lab tech assistant, program director for an inpatient mental health facility, stripper, fetish model, actress, chemical dependency counselor, and mental health therapist working with chronically mentally ill adults. I am currently a Professional Dominatrix, fetish model, burlesque performer, and General Manager for the House of Gord (www.houseofgord.com, www.nakedgord.com, www.gordcomics.com, www.gordcash.com, and www.bondageproductions.com.)

I have also spent a number of years volunteering for different groups: hospice, zoo friend, PAWS, neighborhood watch, breast cancer groups, Verbeana, Blackstockings, Seattle Parks, NARAL, and AIDS Lifecycle.

I assist with throwing a women-only play and sex party, called Bang 4 the Buck, each year in Seattle and San Francisco to raise money for AIDS patients through AIDS Lifecycle with Midori, Kelly B., and Indigo Blue. Donations (money and supplies) and raffle prizes are always accepted. People interested can contact me directly or through our website.

Who would be the best choice to play you in a film about you?

I want a dramatic, fabulously beautiful, radiant, clean, intelligent and fun woman to play me. The first thought is Audrey Hepburn, but her being dead is a problem. Next is line is Bette Davis, except the same problem lies here. I would suspect an actress with the balls and intelligence of Tilda Swinton and the attitude and beauty of Reese Witherspoon.

What music, art, or literature inspires you?

I am inspired by classical music. I can always listen to something classical and be perfectly happy. Sometimes I am quite inspired by country/western, bluegrass, metal, industrial and house music. Depends on the mood. Art and literature are simply inspirational. That is the point. Some forms of art and literature are more blatantly inspirational, but all have some subtle form of stimulation.

How does your ethnicity fit into the whole equation?

My heritage is Scottish and Native American. I am frugal, but generous with friends, loyal, educated, prideful, and a cynic. I believe in actions and not words. I have little patience for people who are overly emotional. Scottish women expect to be equal to the men in their community and have a history of fighting in battle as well as leading the people in defense of themselves. I suspect that the genes passed down from my Scot and Native ancestors have created in me an inner strength and belief in my fierceness as a woman.

What are you proudest of about yourself?

My work ethic, heritage, and being self-sufficient. I am happy with myself as is. If anything, I wish I could more easily pick up languages.

Where do you stand politically?

I am a fiscally conservative, environmentally responsible, socially liberal, constitutionalist. I believe in liberty, freedom, health, responsibility, and the pursuit of happiness.

About which political or social issues do you feel most strongly?

The inability of our elected officials to make any decision except for the decision to pursue one another in costly investigations. The amount of time and money spent investigating the multitude of congressional and other federally appointed individuals is immeasurable. I suspect we could easily have federally funded healthcare and lower taxes if so much was not spent on trying to figure out who did what to whom.

Also, the constant desire to increase all the laws that are on the books. If the current laws were acted upon, then we would need no new laws. This is another county, state, and federal tax racket. How many people does it take to implement and act on a new law? I bet we could pay teachers better if this were decreased.

I also feel strongly about personal freedom from government intervention. People, regardless of race, gender, religion, class, ethnicity, sexuality, or physical ability, should have the right to run their live as they see fit. As long as no one is harmed non-consensually, then so be it.

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